Pug-Ugly 2.5: Phuket. Jaded jewel in the Andaman Sea

The new development on Phuket where I’m renting an apartment looks great in the brochure, as does Phuket generally. The owners promote the development on the local Tourism TV Channel and it looks even better. Notwithstanding the accompanying, overhead and in-your-face electrical supply system that isn’t shown in the film and fails about once a week, it doesn’t look too bad in real life: especially the gardens, which are vibrantly green thanks to judicious watering, please note.

But media images and physical appearances can be misleading on this jaded jewel set in the Andaman Sea. Electrical outages on Phuket are common and affect everyone. At a recent media presentation at Phuket City Police Station, there was concern when the meeting, presided over by the Provincial Police Commander, had to be cut short when the power supply failed.

The island’s H2O supply is, dare I say, based on troubled waters? The government-controlled water supply from reservoirs and desalination has to be supplemented by private water companies. There is one such company located on this development. When the supply fails and liquid resembling wet rust puther forth, turning white flannels brown, owners are informed and they must shop for water.

Hotel, restaurant, shop and apartment proprietors phone ‘our’ private water company and order a delivery. It can only be bought in 2500 litre amounts and the company transport it in huge plastic containers that sit precariously on the backs of old, diesel-belching trucks, or in decrepit-looking mini-tankers. From dawn until very late at night, hard-working ‘Gungha Dins’ connect up pipes from truck to pre-installed water-tanks and with help from super-noisy auxiliary engines, fill ‘em up. 2,500 litres costs 250 baht, about five pounds or euros.

Their labour costs will be low and vehicle fuel may be bought on the black market, and I suspect they have the best tax lawyer on the planet. But how the private water company makes a profit is beyond my understanding. We commoners buy “Filtered and hygienically sterilized using ultra-violet light and ozonated” water in 10 litre plastic bottles. 10 litres of “Green Drinking Water” (‘Green’ is the name of this environmentally aware company) cost 10 Baht, slightly more than nothing. By comparison, the cheapest water in supermarkets costs 10 Baht per litre.

The water company sell a lot because locals, believing it to be tainted, are reluctant to use tap water. Unlike in tourist hotels and restaurants, they especially don’t cook with it. The Thais are fussy about how their food tastes.

We have had no rain for two months and everybody is getting worried. The amount of water needed just for existing developments and resorts on Phuket is astounding. A nearby hotel, one of dozens, has three hundred rooms with showers and/or baths and/or Jacuzzis, and even though it sits on the beach, there are six swimming pools. They’re building more. And more. And more. Bigger and better resorts are going up everywhere and for the sake of appearances, all gardens have to be vibrantly green.

Although my furnished apartment is in a building less than two years old, it’s showing signs of wear. One can assume that local building regulations are not strictly enforced, if they exist. There are no cavity walls. There is no insulation whatsoever. This means that the (32 C. plus) outside heat pours in, turning rooms into saunas. By lunchtime I am sitting in a pool of sweat and I have to shut doors and windows, put on the air-conditioning and keep it on. Energy pours out of the windows.

Although my apartment has two outside walls, the builders have not used either to site the air-con’s outlet. Resembling a large storage heater it occupies about one third of my balcony. Step out through the sliding French windows and the blasts of hot air it expels into the street are of sufficient force to expel you with it. There are dozens like mine. Most are unoccupied and have been throughout the High Season. This may be a blessing. If all the flimflam apartments on this island were occupied I shudder to think how many times per week the electricity supply would fail.

I hope and pray that the electric water heater in the bathroom is properly earthed. Since I’ve been here a young tourist was electrocuted while taking a shower in a similar ‘new’ development and died. As for the sliding French windows, they are so poorly made and fitted that a gentle breeze causes them to rattle. A brisk breeze makes them shake mightily. A proper wind and they’d end up on my bed, which I’ve moved further into the room.

One hundred metres away there is another new development. It’s almost identical. Also completed two years ago and consisting of thirty or so shop-houses and apartments it is completely unoccupied. This is not unusual. There are unfinished and unoccupied buildings all over the place. Opposite it is wasteland. Used as a market twice a week there is also a community (slum) whose occupants live in huts made from corrugated iron and what looks like asbestos. They tap into the electricity supply. Where they get their water from is anyone’s guess.

At the rear of my apartment block there is a row of single story dwellings, the back of which butt up to a separating fence. There is a drainage ditch. It’s a catch-all feature. What doesn’t get thrown into it is not worth mentioning and what gets thrown into it is unmentionable.

Then there’s the vice, the bars with their sad bargirls and demanding pimps. Phuket is pug-ugly in places. I feel that Phuket, this jaded jewel, is fading fast. I feel that I shouldn’t be here because I’m hastening the process.